Monday, April 4, 2011

Writer's block

Ok..I've only been writing for a little while.  Not like some who have written all their lives, I'm VERY new to all of this.  So far, I really hadn't experienced a case of writer's block and I'm not sure I am now.  I think it's more Writer's Doubt.  Is that a clinical condition?  Is there a pill I can take to make it go away?  I wish...

I read blog posts by more experienced writers who are WAY smarter than me.  I'm being serious by the way....right now, this is a 'no snark zone'.  I've gone through checklists about what my MS needs, what it doesn't need, what my query needs, what it doesn't need, check the word count, are you characters interesting?  I've looked over and over and over my MS....editing, rewriting, editing again, rewriting again over and over.  I've heard other writers say, "This is my third rewrite"  or "This is my fifth rewrite"...I've rewritten and edited so many times, I couldn't begin to tell you a number.  I think my characters are interesting, but I really like my characters....that doesn't mean anyone else will.  Will your plot keep the reader turning pages?  I have no idea.  I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure about that either.  I'm just feeling a little....hmm....beat up...but that really isn't an accurate representation.....

Stupid maybe?  In over my head?  Overwhelmed?  What in the world made me think I could do this?  All those thoughts have been pummeling me for the past week... I don't know why.  Remember when I said 'beat up' was an accurate representation?  Maybe I was wrong about that...
I'm older....I'll be 45 on my birthday in a few weeks.  I've got a Music Education degree and I've been an elementary music teacher for 20 years.  I'm good at it.  Really good.  So I know I'm not a complete idiot. 

I just feel like one.  I'm REALLY behind on my reading since I didn't read unless I had to my WHOLE life.  Only in the past two years have I really started reading for enjoyment.  So when I hear, "Have you read ..... ? and I haven't, I feel a major stab inadequacy.  Your mind is a powerful thing.  It can talk you in and out of situations at the drop of a hat.  I guess I need to stop listening to my brain and write in spite of myself and all those Writer Doubts....pesky little critters...maybe there's a spray I can buy...

Hope I don't seem whiny....I can't stand whining...It drives me crazy.  I don't allow my kids at school to whine, so I don't.  This is more of a 'banging your head or kicking the wall in frustration" thing. 

So this is me....feeling like I need to give up, but knowing I'll never forgive myself if I I'll take a break...unscrew my head off, clean out the "Negative Nancy" thoughts and screw it back on the right way. 

1 comment:

  1. haha! I wish it was a clinical condition. That way the fix would be easy. =P

    A lot of writers get anxious about the same things you've addressed in your blog, but its a natural thing. In a way its just you trying to nourish your baby before you send it out into the literary world.

    I think a good way to assess this is having other people read your work and offer feedback. I know my mom, she normally doesn't see her mistakes or whatever holes she might not have covered, so I help her as her 'unofficial' critique/beta reader.

    It's good to get an outside opinion.

    There's this site, I don't know if you've heard of it, but its called Absolute Write. It's an extremely helpful writers resource.

    You can take a look and sign up if you like it. =) It's free.

    It will probably help with your writers doubt. =)

    Hope this helps you, Suzanne.